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Wednesday, 23 July 2014

What step are you on today?

I treat my body like a trash chute
I can't imagine why
The food I eat tastes awful and doesn't even make me vaguely happy or satisfied anymore.
I dream of raw food and how it made me feel.

The thing that's holding me back, well there are a few things, viz
1. I'm not good with depriving myself :) I don't like to be given boundaries
2. I need more variety and excitement in my raw meals
3. Fear of failure... Theoretically I understand failure is a stepping stone to success... Emotionally, it's still hard not to reach my goal.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

What I've learned

So since coming off the raw food diet....
I've learned a number of things.

1. I miss eating raw.  I especially miss how good I felt on raw food.
2. I had nowhere to hide on this diet. Normally, I eat when I'm: sad, upset, angry, frustrated, bored, tired, pretty much all the time :)
On raw food, I couldn't hide behind a packet of crisps. I was forced to experience the emotion.
3. Eating raw is one thing; but attempting an insulin reset while gorging on carbs?? Not too bright. I need to incorporate more protein, seeds, less fruits, simple carbs.
4. Cooked food that looks and smells amazing rarely tastes as good!!!!!!
5. My entire eating habits and cravings and cooking style is now obsolete. The foods I used to crave, I no longer need. My favourites in the past are no longer appealing.... Very happy about that :) I'm cleaning the slate. Tabula rasa.

Conclusion, I think I really want to go back to being raw! Maybe not 100% this time. But high raw; 75-90%.

Monday, 14 July 2014

I fell

I hoped it was just a stumble and my plan was to immediately get right back on the diet....
But I didn't. I couldn't.

My raw diet consisted of six basic foods:
Green Smoothies

All home made, all raw.
It took alot of time, alot of experimenting and shopping :)
When I hit day 10 and my menstrual cycle began... my mind started faltering.
I've seen it a million times, enough to know the value of mind over matter.
Once my mind started faltering, the diet went from super easy, to being a chore.
Until on day 19... it was a HUGE struggle. Mentally.
I found out that I hadn't lost A SINGLE OUNCE in weight. And that my sugar was nowhere near 'normal'.
Physically, I felt better than I have in ages. I'd gotten used to that slight (sometimes more than slight!) hunger that was ever present in my belly. I'd become addicted to new favourite foods. My Thai Basil dip and cashew cheese combo, kohlrabi OMG, radish, baby spinach juices that made my insides smile, freshly juiced veggies.
All consumed in the middle of an icy Melbourne Winter.

Choosing to eat a meal was a poor decision, especially 11 days from the finish line.
I've felt guilt, shame, self ridicule, and relief.
I did not know how hard the diet was til I stopped.
At the moment, I'm trying to eat the normal junk I always did, but my body doesn't crave it anymore and it makes my belly burn. I'm adding my raw food into my normal day and I feel like I crave the cleansing.

Obviously, I was being blind to the fact that while my weight and sugar weren't ideal, the proof was in the pudding. I felt AMAZING. My body was being cleaned. My clothes fit better. I had more energy, more patience.

I would dearly like to try again. But for now, I'm on a break :). I am going  to build up to a high raw diet of 75%...slowly. And incorporate more protein foods to help my blood sugar levels. And I've also started back at the gym which I struggled to cope with while trying raw foods.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Day 16 aka 53.3%

Day 10 was the first day of my cycle.
Pain. Lots of it :(
I kinda thought the raw diet would alleviate that?
And of course the requisite chips, mash potatoes with lashings of butter, hot, curried foods, pies, you name it.
Day 12. My dad's 60th birthday.... including most of these foods!

With the tremendous support of my two stalwart cousins; I made it through the weekend and am still limping along on the raw food diet.
My sugar has remained steady at 14.4 without medication. Not ideal.
So I start back at the gym on Thursday in an attempt to push through the plateau.

30 days have never before taken such a loooong time to pass!!!

Raw corn chips....I'll have to try again, they didn't taste great
Late night snacks
Unbelievably nom spiced pecan cake
Pumpkin (remarkably sweet when raw!) beetroot and onion with spicy sauce 
My 'noodle' maker
Avo n corn chips...
Better with basic raw cracker!
Pumpkin zuchini radish
Less kiwi would be better!
Gorgeously green and healing though.
Interstate flight for dads bday on Friday. Lunch.

Interstate flight for back home Sunday. Lunch. Pureed pumpkin with water....
Takes me an hour and a half to finish this salad...eating big portions is a chore. 

Kohlrabi 'chips' with paprika. Nice.