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Sunday, 28 September 2014

A new start....

So, I haven't blogged for a while because I struggle to find the time....and.... Not much different was happening.

Since I fell off the 30 day raw plan I had, I've spent me time eating 'normal' and thinking.

I went back on insulin cos lets face it, my normal diet sucks!

And I did a bit more research.
Kevin Gianni from Renegade Health is an inspiration and a useful source of information.
The things that stood out for me most were:
Most people 'transition' to raw, not just jump in blindly.
100% raw is ridiculously hard to maintain.
(I wish I'd known all this before my attempts, so I wouldn't have ended up feeling like such a failure!)
And raw foodists have massive dental issues from constantly eating as raw food requires copious amounts of chewing to get enough nutrition and food into your system.

Also, each time I tried to go raw, I was
a. Doing it alone, with no help
b. Not doing enough research and planning.
c. Not understanding that going raw for my specific purpose of reversing diabetes would require a specific calorie controlled raw diet. Rather than living on raw desserts!
So my attempts were flawed from the start.  But hey! This whole thing is trial and error for me 😄

This time though... I have a plan.

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

What I've learnt so far..

Every time I do not achieve a goal that I set out for myself.... I learn something valuable. About myself, about my journey.

It's strange that in my late 30's, I'm only now starting to unravel all the different parts that make up who I am, what I believe.

This is where I am at in terms of continuing my raw journey... Which I am determined to do. While it may not be for everyone, it truly and definitely is my salvation.

The key for me is to eat every 2-3 hours. This stops me from bingeing and making poor food choices.
I've heard preparing/organising is key. It reduces the chances of deviating from the plan. I haven't succeeded with the planning so far, probably why I keep deviating 😉
And being diabetic, I need to focus less on desserts, more on high protein options.

Daily menu:

Water with apple cider vinegar
Daily supplements

Chia porridge/raw protein drink/energy ball

Herbal tea
Kombucha/other ferment

Salad/vegetable/soup/green smoothie/juice

Herbal tea

Crackers, cheese/ salad/mince/nut ball/fermented foods/sprouts

White choc/nuts/miso soup

I seem to lack the basic skill of self control/will power.
The second I tell myself "ok, I'm going raw" my body totally rebels. Stomach tightens mind panics. What If I feel like a slice do bread or some potato chips?!

So my plan involves surrounding myself with good influences.

My links:

Why don't we discuss failure??

So I rarely bother facebooking, tweeting or blogging when I'm down and things are not going right...


I figured this is the reason why we're ashamed of 'failure'. We all know that 'failure is a stepping stone to success'. By know it, I mean we pay lip service to the belief, but we're still stuck in our thinking pattern of shame when we mess up.

I admire  The Orange Rhino tremendously for her sheer transparency.
It's rare. Hopefully, I can follow in her footsteps.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

What step are you on today?

I treat my body like a trash chute
I can't imagine why
The food I eat tastes awful and doesn't even make me vaguely happy or satisfied anymore.
I dream of raw food and how it made me feel.

The thing that's holding me back, well there are a few things, viz
1. I'm not good with depriving myself :) I don't like to be given boundaries
2. I need more variety and excitement in my raw meals
3. Fear of failure... Theoretically I understand failure is a stepping stone to success... Emotionally, it's still hard not to reach my goal.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

What I've learned

So since coming off the raw food diet....
I've learned a number of things.

1. I miss eating raw.  I especially miss how good I felt on raw food.
2. I had nowhere to hide on this diet. Normally, I eat when I'm: sad, upset, angry, frustrated, bored, tired, pretty much all the time :)
On raw food, I couldn't hide behind a packet of crisps. I was forced to experience the emotion.
3. Eating raw is one thing; but attempting an insulin reset while gorging on carbs?? Not too bright. I need to incorporate more protein, seeds, less fruits, simple carbs.
4. Cooked food that looks and smells amazing rarely tastes as good!!!!!!
5. My entire eating habits and cravings and cooking style is now obsolete. The foods I used to crave, I no longer need. My favourites in the past are no longer appealing.... Very happy about that :) I'm cleaning the slate. Tabula rasa.

Conclusion, I think I really want to go back to being raw! Maybe not 100% this time. But high raw; 75-90%.

Monday, 14 July 2014

I fell

I hoped it was just a stumble and my plan was to immediately get right back on the diet....
But I didn't. I couldn't.

My raw diet consisted of six basic foods:
Green Smoothies

All home made, all raw.
It took alot of time, alot of experimenting and shopping :)
When I hit day 10 and my menstrual cycle began... my mind started faltering.
I've seen it a million times, enough to know the value of mind over matter.
Once my mind started faltering, the diet went from super easy, to being a chore.
Until on day 19... it was a HUGE struggle. Mentally.
I found out that I hadn't lost A SINGLE OUNCE in weight. And that my sugar was nowhere near 'normal'.
Physically, I felt better than I have in ages. I'd gotten used to that slight (sometimes more than slight!) hunger that was ever present in my belly. I'd become addicted to new favourite foods. My Thai Basil dip and cashew cheese combo, kohlrabi OMG, radish, baby spinach juices that made my insides smile, freshly juiced veggies.
All consumed in the middle of an icy Melbourne Winter.

Choosing to eat a meal was a poor decision, especially 11 days from the finish line.
I've felt guilt, shame, self ridicule, and relief.
I did not know how hard the diet was til I stopped.
At the moment, I'm trying to eat the normal junk I always did, but my body doesn't crave it anymore and it makes my belly burn. I'm adding my raw food into my normal day and I feel like I crave the cleansing.

Obviously, I was being blind to the fact that while my weight and sugar weren't ideal, the proof was in the pudding. I felt AMAZING. My body was being cleaned. My clothes fit better. I had more energy, more patience.

I would dearly like to try again. But for now, I'm on a break :). I am going  to build up to a high raw diet of 75%...slowly. And incorporate more protein foods to help my blood sugar levels. And I've also started back at the gym which I struggled to cope with while trying raw foods.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Day 16 aka 53.3%

Day 10 was the first day of my cycle.
Pain. Lots of it :(
I kinda thought the raw diet would alleviate that?
And of course the requisite chips, mash potatoes with lashings of butter, hot, curried foods, pies, you name it.
Day 12. My dad's 60th birthday.... including most of these foods!

With the tremendous support of my two stalwart cousins; I made it through the weekend and am still limping along on the raw food diet.
My sugar has remained steady at 14.4 without medication. Not ideal.
So I start back at the gym on Thursday in an attempt to push through the plateau.

30 days have never before taken such a loooong time to pass!!!

Raw corn chips....I'll have to try again, they didn't taste great
Late night snacks
Unbelievably nom spiced pecan cake
Pumpkin (remarkably sweet when raw!) beetroot and onion with spicy sauce 
My 'noodle' maker
Avo n corn chips...
Better with basic raw cracker!
Pumpkin zuchini radish
Less kiwi would be better!
Gorgeously green and healing though.
Interstate flight for dads bday on Friday. Lunch.

Interstate flight for back home Sunday. Lunch. Pureed pumpkin with water....
Takes me an hour and a half to finish this salad...eating big portions is a chore. 

Kohlrabi 'chips' with paprika. Nice.

Friday, 27 June 2014

It's the weekend baby!

Weekends are my nemesis.
We are so busy running around, so many things to do, places to go, people to see.
I find it hardest to cope with being on the diet.
AND this weekend marks the start of school holidays EEEEK
Being with the kids 24/7 for the next few weeks is going to take everything I have to keep my stress levels down.
I need to approach this holiday with a whole new mindset: one of peace, relaxation and playfulness.
I can hear my 4 year old waking up my 2 year old right now... Even though she's saying "it's still sleeping time" he is not taking no for an answer.... Deeeep breaths.

My absolute favourite juice
Celery carrot beetroot lashings of ginger
I had maybe 5 glasses in a day ( I have theme days!)

Cashew mayo and Coriander pesto base
Walnut meat topping with red pepper sticks
I felt super bloated after this meal!!! For the first time
on this diet ever. Not sure if the chilli from
the pesto is the problem
Or the nuts..?

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Day 4 going strong!

I have finally got to a place where I have a multitude of recipes at hand AND a mind of steel :)
My poor supporters have only heard me whining for months about how hard going raw is and why I keep quitting.

I finally got to a place where my last binge created such a lasting impression it steeled my mind (the real source of my weakness) against all the junk.

Starting Friday night: I ate
numerous packets of potato and corn chips
Frozen fries
Frozen pizza
Garlic bread
1.5 loaves of bread
Half a jar of chilli mango pickle
Mountains of rice etc etc

By Sunday night I started looking for raw food cos I felt sooo ill from all the junk.
My joints were hurting, hands and face were swollen. Stomach hugely bloated. Throat sore. Tired. Cranky and short tempered. Slow... My brain was moving at snail pace. My belly hurt and really hated me. All that bread was just sitting on my chest and wouldn't go down. I've had trouble digesting wheat for years but continue to crave and eat it.
Through trying raw on and off in the last year, my craving have begun to change. The above list of food was my hedonistic dream in the past. I still crave food now but I crave home made instead. Traditional Gujarati food. It's a relief. I've eaten enough chips and pizza to fill 5 lifetimes.

The result of the binge:
My heart lifts at the sight of the leftover junk food all over the house; my stomach immediately responds with a nauseous churning. Making me immediately turn right around and walk the hell away.
That means I can now live with junk food all around me and still stick to my diet.

Breakfast today...yum!

Mushroom pate.. So good I almost didn't wait to take a pic! Just gobbled it up after.

Raw cracker prep in dehydrator. Essential for a raw diet. Really filling and a good way to add texture to all the blended foods.

Super simple but sooooo filling. The sauce is heaven for me.
Thai basil, lemongrass mixed into a cashew cheese.
Will post recipe one day :)

Celery spirulina chlorella.... Tastes like sand. But my belly n body is glowing.

Celery kinda day!! Can't wait to juice it. With carrot ginger beetroot.

Caramel tartlet. Didn't even wait to put on the choc topping layer... Yummo!!

Another super simple salad transcended cos of my favourite sauce.

Corn avo coriander raw in progress. My raw food always tastes bitter... Need to figure out how to balance it!

Monday, 23 June 2014

Day One
For the 165th time (or so it feels)
Based on the documentary Simply Raw: reversing diabetes in 30 days; I have attempted a raw food diet many many times in the last 12 months.

I am using a very empirical, close-your-eyes-and-jump-right-in, trial and error method rather than researching the raw diet thoroughly. Hence my many false starts.

Day one is always easy.... This time my focus is 100%.

Through each mis- trial I've discovered new ammunition to help me stay the course.
Doing this diet in winter is probably not the smartest idea. 
I have honed my focus and determination to a pure unyielding laserbeam. My dads 60th in 11 days is a great motivator. I'm hoping once I reach day 11 something else exciting will help me extend the diet...wish me luck!!

Raw crackers, cashew cheese and raw pecan pie to finish :)
Dog tired.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

My shame... And my salvation

My shame and my salvation...

Every single time I "fail"
I learn something about why
And how I can do better next time

Like the guy who created electricity.... Tried a couple thousand times before the bulb lit up
I'm hoping to keep my trials to single figures :):)