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Monday, 14 July 2014

I fell

I hoped it was just a stumble and my plan was to immediately get right back on the diet....
But I didn't. I couldn't.

My raw diet consisted of six basic foods:
Green Smoothies

All home made, all raw.
It took alot of time, alot of experimenting and shopping :)
When I hit day 10 and my menstrual cycle began... my mind started faltering.
I've seen it a million times, enough to know the value of mind over matter.
Once my mind started faltering, the diet went from super easy, to being a chore.
Until on day 19... it was a HUGE struggle. Mentally.
I found out that I hadn't lost A SINGLE OUNCE in weight. And that my sugar was nowhere near 'normal'.
Physically, I felt better than I have in ages. I'd gotten used to that slight (sometimes more than slight!) hunger that was ever present in my belly. I'd become addicted to new favourite foods. My Thai Basil dip and cashew cheese combo, kohlrabi OMG, radish, baby spinach juices that made my insides smile, freshly juiced veggies.
All consumed in the middle of an icy Melbourne Winter.

Choosing to eat a meal was a poor decision, especially 11 days from the finish line.
I've felt guilt, shame, self ridicule, and relief.
I did not know how hard the diet was til I stopped.
At the moment, I'm trying to eat the normal junk I always did, but my body doesn't crave it anymore and it makes my belly burn. I'm adding my raw food into my normal day and I feel like I crave the cleansing.

Obviously, I was being blind to the fact that while my weight and sugar weren't ideal, the proof was in the pudding. I felt AMAZING. My body was being cleaned. My clothes fit better. I had more energy, more patience.

I would dearly like to try again. But for now, I'm on a break :). I am going  to build up to a high raw diet of 75%...slowly. And incorporate more protein foods to help my blood sugar levels. And I've also started back at the gym which I struggled to cope with while trying raw foods.

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